My 13-year-old son had a band concert the other night.  He has been playing percussion for the last two years and has come a long way.  I didn’t find out about the concert until the night before, at which time I told my parents and my in-laws. 

I fully expected them to have something else that they had to do, since this was so last minute.  To my surprise, both sets of grandparents drove across town to see their grandson’s six-minute concert band performance. 

We are thankful for the parents we have, but our kids truly hit the jackpot with these grandparents.  They take them on special play dates, have them over to spend the night, and let them pretty much go nuts.  They love to share the stories from their childhood, and our kids soak it up. 

Rewind a few years, and I did not dream that this tight of a bond would develop.  You see, these same parents cautioned us about adoption, specifically concerning adopting older kids.  They really wanted us to have babies, probably because everybody just loves babies. 

Those days seem a million years ago now. When I see my kids run to greet their grandparents, I know that this is family.  I think it probably even surprises the grandparents how much they can love these kids.  I mean, they are not biologically related to them, they came to the family half-grown, and look nothing like the family.  It’s a special heartwarming moment when I see hearts that had a bit of (understandable) trepidation toward adoption embrace those very same kids. 

Adoption is truly a beautiful gift of God and I am so thankful for it.  It provides me with glimpses of the amazing heart of our Heavenly Father.  He sees us looking so unlike Him, but nonetheless He seeks us out and draws us in.  He loves us and over time, if we allow it and abide in Him, we begin to look more like Him than we could have ever imagined.  Everyone is afraid of becoming like their parents.  I hope and pray that I am able to demonstrate love and treasure my grandkids half as well as my parents and in-laws have.

School Days

So, for the next year, we waited until things with Phil’s job became clearer.  It was a tough time in our lives, and I see why God did not want to place a child in our home in that time.  I had to deal with a lot of unforgiveness and hurt.  I would vacillate between being totally okay with the world and feeling like I had a gaping wound in my heart.  God was incredibly gracious to me and deepened some friendships in my life. 

Soon after that, I left my previous job and moved to a new job.  That adjustment was way more challenging than I could have imagined.  Even as I write about these things (in veiled and ambiguous ways--sorry), I can barely recall the hurt I went through, but trust me when I say many, many tears were shed and fervent prayers prayed.  All of this shows the healing and restoration that our kind heavenly Father demonstrated to me.    

In that time, we had a visit from my sister and her beautiful twins adopted from Africa.  Guys, I seriously love these kids.  They are hilarious and wonderful and a blast to hang around with.  We had so much fun and I began to truly picture what parenting might be like.  My husband felt the same way and we began to make plans to attend the CPS mandated classes in the summer of 2013.  We had to plan so far in advance because of work scheduling issues. 

The classes (called P.R.I.D.E. classes) were offered nearly every month and could either be taken as 4 full Saturdays or 10 weekly classes for a few hours each.  I’m not sure that there is a way to make these classes very action-packed.  We talked about discipline, coping, dealing with past experiences, and euphemisms for genitalia.  This all makes for quite the bonding experience. 

Something that we were not prepared for was that during the first class we had to schedule our initial home visit.  This seemingly daunting task was something I had filed away as something, “Way in the future.” I promise you, this is less in-depth than you can imagine.   My assurances will in no way prevent you from freaking out in the time leading up to said visit, however.  The worker does not care one bit about the dust on your furniture, but mostly that you have a fire extinguisher, child-proof cabinets, medications locked up, etc.  It is okay if you do not have everything completed at that point, as they will follow up later.

And just be prepared, every P.R.I.D.E. class has that person or few people that ask WAY too many specific questions.  One of my favorites was, "What if we have a room filled with crystal items?  Will the children break these?").  Seriously lady?  Kids ALWAYS break things, so just put those things away until your kids are at least 40.  

Everyone in our class soon learned who our person was.  The class is a good start to the preparation, but every parent learns that no amount of preparation can truly prepare you for the scenarios that you will face once you are in the trenches. Each of these children (even children from the same home) come into our homes with a different set of experiences, struggles, fears, insecurities, and biological predispositions.  Try to get past this, as these future parents will become a source of encouragement and a shoulder to lean on.   Each of them is compelled to be parents to these children, and that is truly a beautiful thing.