If you have been watching the Olympics (who hasn’t, really?) then you know about the one and only Simone Biles.  This girl is nothing short of amazing.  She is flawlessly nailing passes that other Olympic athletes won’t even attempt.  It makes my Houstonian heart proud to watch her slay these Olympic games.

I am however a bit perturbed when I see so much focus going to her early childhood, to her biological mother who was a “drug addict” that “abandoned” her to her grandparents, which graciously took her in.  What annoys me is that this is not the narrative that she wants told.  She had a rough start, but she has parents that love her unconditionally and helped her to achieve this nearly impossible goal.  That’s her story.  She worked her butt off, had amazing support and now she’s killing it.

I’m sure Simone is not ashamed of her roots, but an unconventional childhood should not allow the media to exploit her story for the sake of ratings.   Most certainly her story would not be one of a vilified birth mother, saintly adoptive parents and poor, helpless kids caught in the mix.  Lord knows adoptive parents have just as many flaws and neurosis as their biological counterparts, and her mother is more than simply a drug addict.

Our culture has a weird fascination with adoption.  We think it is our right to know ALL the details behind an adoption, and that is simply not the case.  Reliving the trauma that led up to the separation from one’s biological parents may be too difficult for some adoptees. 

This is not another blog that is simply meant to shame the reader into sensitivity.  Rather, my hope is to open your eyes to what adoption really looks like and how you can be a part of changing the lives of one or more kids forever.  I would love to see people moved from pity to mercy.

This morning I asked my kids what they wanted people to know about adoption.  My 7-year-old daughter said, “That it’s good, and that I love my parents”.  My 12-year-old son said, “People should adopt, because without adoption kids go without love and eventually become homeless”. 

Adoption is simple.  It is about being moved to love and provide for a child.  Adoptive parents are not superheroes.  We are regular people who couldn’t bear the thought of a child being without love.

Parenting in general is hard, and dealing with the extra baggage of a complicated past makes it even more so, but know that there is help.  Our kids go to counseling 1-2 times per month to help deal with the wounds of their past.  Our family and friends “lean in” and help us tremendously, because it truly does take a village.

The tough spots are worth it, though.  When I see my son excelling in sports, I think of how exciting it is to see how far they have come.  When I see my daughter pray for hurting people to be healed by God, I am reminded of how fortunate we are to be their parents.  Adopting has changed my perspective and world view and helped to open the eyes of our circle of influence. 

So, in summation, please be sensitive when asking adopted kids/adults about their history.  Curiosity does not entitle you to know the details of someone’s past.  But, even more importantly, don’t just pity this situation: consider how you can show mercy and change lives.  Be open to fostering and adoption.  Move from being a bystander to being a part of the action.  This is an adventure that will change many lives forever.

If you have any questions about the adoption/fostering journey, please send me a message.  I do not have all the answers, but I can hopefully point you to helpful resources.  Thanks for reading. 

A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action

This past week a horrible incident occurred in a Cincinnati zoo.  A young child wanted to get into an exhibit and was able to do so, seemingly with little struggle.  He fell a distance into a moat, where a 400-pound gorilla greeted him. 

This is the stuff of nightmares.  Not only are little kids fast, I am convinced most have a death wish.  Our sole job as parents is to try to keep them alive to their 10^th birthday.  Now, instead of your child running out of your sight at the park or getting too close to the lit stove, he is trapped…in an exhibit…with a super terrifying animal that could easily crush his skull with one blow. 

As probably all of you are aware, the zookeepers had to make what must have been a heartbreaking decision and kill this rare, beautiful animal.  Zoology experts like Jack Hanna agreed that this was the right decision as this animal was showing signs of aggression.  He was most likely not going to stop without seriously, and potentially fatally injuring the child.  Tragedy all around.

This horrific event reminded me of something so incredibly prevalent in our culture.  People were blasting all over social media about how terribly neglectful these parents were, and that CPS should be investigating them.

Ahh…the trump card…call CPS.  So many people felt that this family should have their children taken away from them for neglect.  While I don’t think this freak accident should warrant that, I think it shows something important lacking in our hearts.  We are quick to point blame and stand in accusation, but when a child ends up in need of a loving home, where are the same outspoken vigilantes of justice?  All too often, the most opinionated are nowhere to be found. 

Abortion is another area where you see a lot of talk, and very little action.  Let me explain:  While I think EVERY life has value and is significant to our Heavenly Father…I feel for the women that have to make this tough decision.  They hear people shouting, “DON’T HAVE AN ABORTION! People would LOVE to adopt your baby!”  And then when it comes down to it, many are unwilling to actually foster or adopt.  (There are of course awesome exceptions to this, but sadly they are rare.)

My heart breaks when I see kids in need of loving homes.  When I look at our kids that we adopted two years ago, I am overwhelmed with so many emotions.  We are blessed to be able to raise them.  They are precious, hilarious, and although not biologically related to us, they are remarkably similar to our family.  We can’t imagine life without those two.

So, to sum up this meandering blog…I implore you please put action and compassion to your thoughts and quit playing the blame game.  Life is tough enough without the whole world picking apart your every decision.  When you see someone doing something that offends/upsets/frustrates you, ask yourself, “What can I do about this to help bring glory to Jesus?”

Earnestly ask God for insight, and then obey.  Maybe God will call you to adopt.  Maybe He will call you to foster.  Maybe He will call you to volunteer.  But, I guarantee you that whatever He calls you to will be challenging and rewarding in a way that you can’t even imagine right now.