Back in the Saddle Again

I’ve been feeling stuck for a while now.  I have gone from feeling passionate about blogging, to feeling interested in anything but blogging, to feeling very conflicted about sharing anything at all online.  This left me paralyzed in a sense, and it was a terrible place to live. 

We need to hear the stories of others.  When we open ourselves up to living through an experience with someone else, we are often changed by it.  It may give us courage to see how ordinary people can be used in extraordinary ways.  It may give us pause and help us to anticipate possible pitfalls.  But most importantly, it connects us. 

Sharing this adoption journey has been deeply profound for me and I have loved doing so.  I am incredibly humbled when I sit at the dinner table every night and realize that I get to hear the highlights of my kids’ days and be easily and effortlessly called “mom”.  My hope is to give the reader a small glimpse of the highs and the lows that have been a part of our adoption journey.

It’s really tough, though.  I want to be completely transparent and authentic, but sometimes I feel like these stories are not mine to tell.  Behind every lesson learned is a difficult journey that may include private details that my kids may or may not want shared.  At times I think, “What would my kids think if they read my blog”?  Would they feel their representation is accurate?  Would they feel I changed the details to make the story say what I wanted it to say? 

Another detail that makes our situation every more sensitive is the fact that their biological parents may be out there reading this blog.  Although that scenario is highly unlikely, it often crosses my mind and affects me more than I care to say.

Sorry to work all these details out in this format, but I believe I may not be alone in this feeling.  Others in the online community experience a tension walking the line between giving insight into our lives and over-sharing.  If I am putting something out for others to read I want to actually say something that matters.

So, what is the point of this blog post, you may ask?  Just to let you know that I am trying to get back to writing and I hope that I can, in that, warm a few hearts to the idea of adoption.

You guys have seriously been the greatest.  Your love, your support, and your encouragement mean more than I can say.  Thanks for sticking with me.  You are wonderful.