I’ve been feeling stuck for a while now. I have gone from feeling passionate about
blogging, to feeling interested in anything but blogging, to feeling very
conflicted about sharing anything at all online. This left me paralyzed in a sense, and it was
a terrible place to live.
We need to hear the stories of others. When we open ourselves up to living through an
experience with someone else, we are often changed by it. It may give us courage to see how ordinary
people can be used in extraordinary ways.
It may give us pause and help us to anticipate possible pitfalls. But most importantly, it connects us.
Sharing this adoption journey has been deeply profound for me
and I have loved doing so. I am incredibly
humbled when I sit at the dinner table every night and realize that I get to
hear the highlights of my kids’ days and be easily and effortlessly called
“mom”. My hope is to give the reader a
small glimpse of the highs and the lows that have been a part of our adoption
journey.
It’s really tough, though.
I want to be completely transparent and authentic, but sometimes I feel
like these stories are not mine to tell.
Behind every lesson learned is a difficult journey that may include
private details that my kids may or may not want shared. At times I think, “What would my kids think
if they read my blog”? Would they feel
their representation is accurate? Would
they feel I changed the details to make the story say what I wanted it to
say?
Another detail that makes our situation every more sensitive
is the fact that their biological parents may be out there reading this
blog. Although that scenario is highly
unlikely, it often crosses my mind and affects me more than I care to say.
Sorry to work all these details out in this format, but I believe
I may not be alone in this feeling. Others
in the online community experience a tension walking the line between giving
insight into our lives and over-sharing.
If I am putting something out for others to read I want to actually say
something that matters.
So, what is the point of this blog post, you may ask? Just to let you know that I am trying to get
back to writing and I hope that I can, in that, warm a few hearts to the idea
of adoption.
You guys have seriously been the greatest. Your love, your support, and your
encouragement mean more than I can say. Thanks for sticking with me. You are wonderful.
